Helen's House
by AngstyAlice
Summary: What if Stef wasn't able to get the emergency fostering license and Callie has to spend the weekend at Helen's. It's her against the world again but when she runs who will be there to save her? ((Callie POV)) (Not SH)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- Hello, there. I'm back. Thank you for reading, i appreciate you. Hope these stories are helping with hiatus, I can't wait until December. You know the drill, please let me know what you think. First few chapters setting the ground like always. Ready for the drama? Enjoy.**

**As always- I don't own The Fosters all I own is this half empty mug of pumpkin coffee.**

**Callie- POV**

Of course she just locked the door. I would love to escape from here, she knows she shouldn't be in charge of children if she knows they'll try to run from her. The silence and cold is so overwhelming, I had gotten used to all the noise and warmth and hugs. This must be what its like moving from the city to the country. No wonder all those horror movies are set in the middle of nowhere, I want to kill someone right now too. I can't believe moms just let her take me like that, I know they didn't have much choice but they should have know their license was coming up. Mama, no Lena, knows everything, she can tell what day your doctor appointment is for five months from now but couldn't remember that, really?

Or maybe they did and they just don't care. Maybe this was the plan all along. They have Jude, the good cute innocent one. I was just baggage, baggage that got now shipped away to Siberia. Seriously, lady you can turn on the heat around here. Now they got what they wanted and I'm thrown back into the system of broken down cold houses, crossing my fingers that the next one won't have the same fondness of belts. They say they didn't know about Robert but maybe that was a lie. Maybe they did and didn't want me running with Jude before they could get him adopted. But, I always wanted him to have them and vice-a-versa. They deserve the love that one provides the other. I deserve to be locked up in the cold dark room that's similar to the cell I was in last time. Actually, I think I prefer the cell, there were no false promises of comfort there. This is a dark road my mind is weaving down but here I can't escape my mind. There's nothing to escape to.

I feel warm tears tracking down my cheeks, I don't even try to wipe them away. What's the point, there's no one here to hide it from. I'm pulled from my thoughts by the muffled sound of a ring-tone. Crap! I forgot to give them their phone back when I left! They must be so mad! I start crying harder at the thought that I could have angered them. Why does that thought hurt? They clearly don't care about me. I put the phone to my ear answering it, before they have the chance to say anything I'm rambling defenses not caring about the cracking of my voice or gasping breaths. As Stef interrupts with apologies of her own I hold my breath, it's been mere hours but feels like years since I've heard her voice. I miss it so much, just like I miss my moms. I wonder if I'll hear it in my dreams the same way?

"Sweets, baby, I'm sorry. Please breathe. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault, I should have been paying attention. I tried at the calling the court tonight but they wouldn't do anything. I'm so sorry. I will do everything i can tomorrow, i will spend the whole day at the courthouse if I have to. You'll be back home by tomorrow. I promise." I cut her off right there, sternly I respond. "Don't. Don't you dare promise that. Never make promises you can't keep. Don't you dare go around promising me anything." I hear her breathing on the other side of the phone, I can tell she's crying too. I feel bad but I'm too mad to comfort her. I know she's not the one I'm actually mad at. I'm mad at the system and at my life, but she's the closest one to me right now, so I'm taking it out on her. I'm half expecting to get reprimanded for talking to my mom like that, but then again she's not my mom anymore. I guess this whole situation just proves she never was.

We both sit there crying in silence, not knowing what to say to the other. My heart hurts so bad right now, and I know that hers does too. "I love you Slugabug, I'll make this right. I'll bring you home." She finally says. I can hear the sincerity in her voice. 'I hope so, I really hope so.' I'm not sure if I just thought that or said it out loud but whispered in my ear I heard "I will." At this point I'm curled up on the bed, under the sheets, with the sweatshirt I stole from Stef on. When I went to get my bag I wanted some comfort, figured if I was getting sent away might as well take it. If she cared Juvie was a safer place than most I've been to, sans of course release day but that doesn't go well for a lot of people anyway.

I don't know how much longer I was laying there in silence, grasping for any form of contact with the only people I felt was family. The breathing was enough to know I'm not alone, but also enough to make my nerves beg for a hug. The smell of her on the sweatshirt tainted by the antiseptic smell of the room just made me cry harder. The things that were bringing me comfort just made me long for home even more. Yes, that is my home, I can't help thinking that. "I want to go home." I whisper out, I know I sound like a whiny child but I can't help it, I feel like one too. Like when my home was take away from me the first night. The night of the accident. I just want to go home, with things being back as they were. With a sense of security, no matter how false it might have been. "I want you home too baby. I want you home too." I hear her voice crack as she repeats the words, it breaks my already shattered one. I know come morning I'll have my mask back on, but here in the shroud of the night I let myself be hurt. I let myself beg for the comfort of the family that I wished so dearly was mine. I let myself grieve for the paradise that I was taken from. So I cry myself to sleep, neither one of us hanging up the phone. Whispered guarantees that I'll be home soon, that they still want me, that I'm still loved, are my lullaby. She reminds me that this house I'm in now is temporary. But the thing is she's right, everything is temporary, their house too.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N- Well, mixed reviews on the first chapter. We'll see with this one (chapters will be longer if i continue). It is not a copy of others stories as not SH. If you want to read on please do, if not no ones making you. For those of you taking the risk of reading i appreciate you. Please let me know what you think, good or bad i do respect you. Enjoy.**

**As Always- I don't own The Fosters, all i own are these goldfish crackers I'm noshing.**

I wake as the light shines through the window. Apparently I was tired. My head is pounding from the crying last night. This is ridiculous, right? Anyone can do anything for just a weekend. I start getting myself put together. Oh man, I really have to pee. Stupid locked door. I don't want to knock and risk pissing her off. Most of them are nice to begin with, but one wrong step and you will have the scars forever. I grab the phone to put it away. Crap its dead. I shuffle through my bag hoping to feel the reassuring plastic wire between my fingers. I don't remember grabbing it, as I didn't even remember I had the phone. But I can hope. Its not there, nowhere to be found. I should have taken the charger. Oh well, just me against the world. Again.

There's a click at the door and I can hear her the clinking of the lock as it's removed. The old door creaks open and I see her head peak around the corner. Seriously? You can't even freaking knock? Luck I wasn't changing. "Got chores before group." We both stand there waiting. Okay, that wasn't a question or anything, what are you waiting for? I give a slight nod, it seems to be enough. "My nephew is dropping off some groceries, he'll drive you to group on his way out and bring you back after. I haven't had anyone run away yet and I'm not starting now." Damn, she is really proud of that, isn't she? Maybe she would not have to worry about it in the first place if she wasn't so frustrating. Is it her voice that annoys me or just her whole existence in the first place?

She's still standing there holding up the wall. I take that as my cue to walk towards her. She seems to like a puppy, probably thinks if I'm in her sight I can't run. Funny, considering I could take her down from that wobbly ankle alone. I don't think I will but it's good to know I can if I have to. But, then I'd be back to juvie and it was hard enough to not see Jude the first time around. At least now I know he's safe, he has a home and family. It's just not with me.

With the light of the morning I'm finally getting a chance to see the house. Upstairs is the room I was in, her room, a bathroom and a hallway closet. Hmm, wonder if she uses the closet for actual storage or not. I shiver as images of being kept in closets come back to mind. We make our way downstairs in the fairly small house, there's another set of stairs I'm guessing leads to the basement but I'm not going to check that out voluntarily. The first floor we walk through a sitting area and past a dining room to the small kitchen. I have a feeling this house hasn't actually been cleaned since the last foster kid was here. Great. At least the work should distract me from life for awhile.

Following into the kitchen I get the list of chores, the first of course making breakfast. Time seems to pass so slow. The eggs are taking forever to cook, maybe it's just the crotchety stove? Nope. One glance at the clock tells me otherwise. I just have to shut down my brain. I've done this before and I can do it again. To be honest it's not the worst house I've been. Just stay quiet and follow her rules. I can do this. As I've been told many times, children should be seen and not heard. As long as I do what's expected of me things will be okay. Thank goodness she's at least one of the people that will actually tell me what she expects.

She really does like a puppy. I couldn't even go to the bathroom without her making sure the window was locked and she stood outside. I'm almost expecting her to put an ankle monitor on me, or one of those electric dog collars. The sweeping is awkward as she won't let me out of her sight, and I don't like supervisors. Seriously, I swept that area four times, I would eat off of it to prove it's clean. But, no, you want me to go back over and sweep it again. Seriously? Deep breath. Punching her is a surefire way to end in juvie. You won't be here forever. Just sweep the stupid spot again if it'll make her happy. Right, we both know that nothing will make her happy.

As the morning progresses I keep up with doing chores. I always choke on the dust in the air when dusting. There's so much dust on the windowsill alone that I'm fairly confident it's been accumulating since Pangea became a landmass. The majority of the chores have been done for the day, only ones remaining are making dinner and finishing the laundry. I've done some loads but am dragging out the last load. Yeah, old lady underwear. Gross.

I hear the sound of a doorbell. Do people even use those anymore? Oh, right, almost time for group. No matter how much I hate group I'm looking forward to it today as a chance to get out of this house. It's a surreal sequence of awkward events. Her nephew must be here. Should I answer? She never told me if she wanted me to answer the door. It's a 50/50 shot if it will piss her off or be the right answer. As the bell rings a second time and I hear her yelling I know my thinking was taking too long. At least now I know she expects me to answer it. Maybe he'll be nicer than her? Judging by the multiple noises from the high pitched bell I'm guessing not.

I make my way hastily to the door to answer properly. Open the door, be polite, address the guest by name. Always the same rules. Wait? What was his name? I don't remember her telling me. Darn, I can't risk asking but I don't want them saying I'm doing things wrong. Once the flip switches and she gets pissed at me it'll never go back to this. As awkward as it my be all my bones are intact and I would like to keep it that way.

Lost in my thoughts I barely recognize that I've made it to the door. Opening it I start with the normal introduction "Hello, welcome to the residence..." I stop in mid sentence when the shock hits, my jaw drops and I'm sure the fear in my eyes is evident. No. It can't be. Please, just tell me this is some sick joke. I can tell I'm not breathing and don't care to start. The face looks back at me with a growing smirk. "Hey Calliegirl. Miss me?"

Oh shit. Liam.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N- Next chapter is here, I'm posting as some people want to read it. Sorry it's been awhile, life got in the way but this is a pretty good escape from reality. Thanks for giving this story a chance, i appreciate you and respect your opinions. If you get the chance please let me know what you think. Without further ado, ready to find out what Callie is going to do?**

**As always- I don't own The Fosters all i own is this cup of coffee. **

Oh shit, Liam

What the hell? I know CPS sucks, but did they really not check this blasted woman's background and family?! I have not trust in the system, they've screwed me over time after time, but this... THIS is a new low. A new level of disappointment with life. How the hell did they let this happen? Why the heck didn't Lena and Stef renew their license? AND WHY THE FUCK IS HE JUST STANDING THERE WITH THAT STUPID SMIRK ON HIS FACE?! I just want to slap it off him.

Did he know this was going to happen? There's no way he could have planned it but it seems too perfect not to. "You better get a move on, I'm not going to be responsible for you being late to group" I hear Helen yell from the other room. Oh hell no! I'm not voluntarily getting into an enclosed space with this man. That is not happening. No way you crazy witch!

I can't help but to jump as I feel his hand on my arm, pulling me to the door. His lips are at my ear and his breath touching my skin makes me nauseous. "You better be a good girl. I'd hate to see you go back to juvie. We already know no one believes you." He whispers in my ear, I shiver and try to hold back the gag that comes to my throat. Nodding I try to put one foot in front of the other heading towards the doorway. The way my legs are shaking it'll be a miracle if I make it that far. Just please let go of me, just let that hand slip. If there is a deity out there you will make him let go.

Apparently there is a G_d. Helen comes out from the kitchen with the shopping list, he releases my arm and I stand there frozen. The woman gives me a brief look then hands the list and money to Liam. He walks past me towards the door, the creaking of it opening pulls me back into the present. I try to pass off a smile at the old woman as I transverse the room. He smiles. That smile has given me nightmares for years, those eyes that I see when I close my own. "After you." Though the words should sound normal, they are threatening in my ears. His voice reverberating in my ears. My throat is dry yet saliva sticks, forming a lump in my throat. Youcandothisyoucandothis just make it out the door. Just a few steps more. There you go.

The sun may be shinning, the rays of light creating a puzzle of shadows on the ground before me. The warmth one would expect with being kissed by the sun is missing. I feel the chill of a wind that is not there, my bones shivering and my muscles weak. I stare at the jeep in front of me. I thought I was past this, I thought this was behind me and things were going to be okay again. Not only was I taken from what should have been my new home, my new family, I get slapped in the face by being thrown back into this past.

Screw this. I'm not going to just give up. After all the shit I've been through this is not the way its going to end. I'm not going to let this happen again. As I slowly head towards the car I feel my heart rate increase. My feet are moving faster as I make a sharp right and start running. I'm not sure where I'm running at first. My lungs are burning, my body is telling me to stop but my mind won't let me. My lungs are gasping for air. But I must push harder, I must run faster. Now with the decision is made I can't back down. My knees are killing me and I'm cursing skipping gym so often but even if my body wasn't made for this my mind was. I move my feet faster, my strides longer, I try to control my breathing and just listen to the thudding of my pulse in my ears as I let my feet take me away. I need to go anywhere but here, and I will not stop until there is no other option. I will save myself this time, because I finally realize no one will save me anymore.

I hear both people from the yard yell "Fuck" and pick up the sound of footsteps running after me. It must be his, there's no way Helen could run, she wouldn't need all the locks if she could. Luckily, I've been at a house in this neighborhood before. I have a advantage, and a hiding place. I may not have known where I was going when I started running but now I know where I am. I run a few blocks and I pick up that the feet behind me are slowing down. Thank goodness he was a weights kid and not a runner. I make a few sharp turns, I won't run in a straight line just in case.

I hide in some bushes trying to catch my breath. It's been forever or just moments, I don't know, I'm just trying to breathe as normally as possible and be a quiet as I can. I'm not safe yet. Then I hear my name being yelled as the jeep passes "Callie, be a good girl and come out. It'll just be worse if I have to find you on my own. You don't want to see me get mad."

Ha. Like that would work. I know what you really want to say but can't yell out the window for all the public to hear. So much for Helen's perfect record of no escapees. Everything seems to calm down a bit, my heart is still racing but I'm no longer gasping for oxygen. Okay, I'm a few blocks from that broken down abandoned foundation in the woods, no one would look there unless they knew to. I'm placing my bets that no one knows. I'm normally not a gambling girl, the odds are always with the house and I don't have that kind of luck. Right now I have no other options, I can hide there and regroup.

I think it's been long enough, I start sneaking through the town, following the bushes and trees, hiding at every sound. What should have taken maybe fifteen minutes on a direct route is taking more than an hour. It's starting to get dark, but that's okay, it's easier to hide in the dark. Night is a great protector, shrouding you from what you don't want to see. However, it also contains it's own demons. Ones I'm not sure I'm ready to fight just yet. I make it to the small crumbling cement hole and hid in the corner. It's exactly as i remember it, the fallen trees create a semi roof, the rocks and cement falling from its position holding the dirt away. It may be a little place from long ago, but its the perfect forgotten past. Okay, I need a plan. What the hell am I supposed to do now? If I get caught I'll end up back in jail. I just couldn't stay there though, I couldn't deal with that again. Maybe I'll figure it out in the morning, the day has been too much on my body.

As I start to let my eyes drift close, shivering in the corner, knees to my chest. My heart stops as I hear a sound.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N- Got quite a few messages to post the next chapter, so here it is. Sorry it took so long. I have some chapters in queue but please don't be surprised if it takes awhile to post again, life has thrown quite the curveball my way and I'm still trying to figure out how life works with the change. Not that you care to know all that. Thanks for reading and take care. Please let me know what you're thinking on this chapter. So, what'd Callie hear in the woods?**

**As always- i don't own The Fosters, all i own is this lukewarm coffee and scones i just made.**

Shit shit shit shit! I hold my breath and push further into the corner. I hope the branch in front of me is big enough that whoever is there won't see me. Today it's a good day my favourite color isn't neon orange. Then I hear the laughing of teenagers, I forgot there is a trail close to here. They sound drunk, but I wouldn't expect any less on a Saturday night in this neighbourhood. I stay as still as possible as they make it past my hiding place. I hear them stumbling past and something hit the ground as they leave.

I crawl to the entryway and find the partially empty bottle laying on the side of the pathway. Quickly I scurry to get it. If there's a day to take up drinking I think this is it. Reaching out I grab my new friend, the Captain, and see something else gleaming in the leaves. Maybe it is my lucky day and they dropped some food too. No, it's not food. It's a phone. I reach out carefully crossing my fingers that they won't realize they lost it anytime soon, or mommy and daddy are rich and will just buy them a new one. I swiftly make my way back to my corner with treasure in hand.

I think about using it. The only numbers I have memorized though is the house I grew up in, which won't do any good, and Stef's number. I don't know why I remember hers, it just got stuck. There's no way Helen would call her, right? Admit that I'm gone? No, they wouldn't give up that easy, especially with how proud she is of her record. Why would they call her? Maybe think that I went home? But that's not home! I have to stop thinking that. Maybe just see if she knows, if she'll help, if not I can hang up before anyone can track me. Maybe it's my only chance. I type in her number and hit send as my shaking hand lifts the phone to my ear before I can change my mind.

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding as I hear her answer the call. "Hello?" She asks calmly but I lost my words. "Hello?" Clearly more annoyed. I don't want her to hang up on my so finally I croak out "Hi."

"Sweets! Where are you?" Her voice is dripping with concern, I don't know what it is but she sounds like home. I also don't know how to answer, crap she does know. My silence must have lasted longer than she anticipated. "I went to wait by your group to see you today, Dr Kodema said you never showed up. Are you alright?" I find myself releasing a deep breath. She doesn't know. Helen still didn't call her.

"I'm fine" I whisper into the phone, the lie getting stuck in my increasingly dry throat.

"You don't sound fine. What's wrong? Why are you whispering?" She inquires. What am I supposed to say? That my life is a series of cruel jokes where I am the punchline (sometimes literally). That I ran away because Liam showed up again and I couldn't deal with that. That CPS must screw me over on purpose because time after time can't be by accident. Seriously, I know it was an emergency placement but freaking do a background check! Does she want to know I am angry with her for giving me hope then letting me get taken away. Or that now I know I don't have to worry about Jude I still don't know how to worry about myself.

"Callie? Love? Please say something." Her pleading voice breaks into my thoughts.

"I can't" I whisper. I don't even know if I meant I can't tell her or I can't do this, both are valid.

"It's going to be fine. I'll come over there, okay? I'll say we got an anonymous call. I'll be right there, yes?"

"No."

"Why not baby?"

"I'm not there." Silence. It's funny how deafening silence can be. She hesitates as she slowly asks.

"Why not? Where are you?"

"Don't know. I, uh, ran." I cringe on the last word, I know this is going to set her off and I'm right as she starts.

"Callie! You can't do that! You know you can't run every time something goes wrong. You'll go back to juvie!" My voice gets even quieter as hers raises.

"I know. But L-L-Liam was there. I couldn't." I can't help the sob that escapes my throat.

"WHAT?! Liam was where?! The house?! Is he following you? He knows better than to be anywhere near you!" She starts rambling, I'm too tired to follow the train of thought. One thing no one could deny is Stef's passion, she is one fierce mama tiger when it comes to her family.

I hear a thud and an expletive yelled through the line, then there is some muffled conversation as I'm sure Lena is reprimanding her for hitting something as well as cursing. It's funny how much she cares about stuff like that, she must not realize how colorful the language we hear at school is. Then the soft voice I imagine could lull any beast to sleep is ringing into my ears. "Hello?" Does she know what's going on? Does she know its me? "Are you still there?" She asks. "Yes" I answer as normally as possible but feel my voice crack. "Callie, sweetie, are you okay?" Man they use pet names a lot, I never really minded because it made me feel wanted, but right now it reminds me of how alone I am. Why am I at such a loss for words right now? No, I am not okay. I'm freaked out, nervous, freezing, worried, nauseous, broken, and scared. I am so many things, but not a single one of them is okay. I can't stand to lie to her though so I stay silent.

"What's wrong?" She tries. Her voice tells me how much she actually cares about the answer. It makes my heart hurt and yearn to be back at their house. I can't help the tears that are my only response. I try to stop them but end up just sniffling into the phone. She's cooing through the phone that it's okay, that they love me, that I'll be back on Monday. Really? You had to say that! Back on Monday? That just sets me off more. I screwed that up too! I won't be back because I'll be in jail by then. All I can whisper through the tears is a pathetic sounding "sorry".


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N- I hope this chapter finds you well. Thank you for reading, I appreciate you. I know there's a lot of talking in this chapter but it's needed. Please let me know what you think and I'll try to update again soon (yay queued chapters). Enjoy. **

**As always- I don't own The Fosters, all I own is this half empty cup of coffee. **

"Sorry" was all I could squeak out between my increasingly gasping breaths.

"You have nothing to be sorry about Slugabug." I shake my head although I know she can't see it. I have so much to be sorry about and she only knows half of it. Right now I need to try to calm down though, I can't risk anyone hearing me.

"Do you know where you are? Can you tell me?" Lena asks.

"No." I answer simply. Yes I know where I am, no I am not telling you. I can't bring you all into this, I shouldn't have even called.

"What's around you love? We can try to figure out where you are." She encourages.

"I know where I am but can't tell you." I hear a long sigh before Lena continues.

"Why not? We just want to help you and keep you safe."

"I'm not safe with Liam looking for me."

"That's why you should let us find you first. We can help, love, if you just let us." I scoff, Liam won the last round I'm not about to get into the ring with him again.

"We'll figure something out. Let me come get you, please. Do you trust me?" Lena pleads as I take a deep breath.

"I used to." With that I hang up and drop the device beside me.

I find myself again releasing a breath I didn't know I was holding, that's been happening a lot today. I trusted them before, I let my walls down then got taken away. It hurt to hang up on her, when all I want is to talk to them all night. I may have hurt her too but I can't let them hurt me again. I need to protect myself because no one else will. I let my guard down once and look where it landed me, sitting in some ditch hiding in the woods. There is no way that I am going to make that mistake twice.

Suddenly I hear the vibration against my foot. Crap, I should have turned it off. Should I answer it? They get super pissed when we don't answer the phone. I've also never hung up on them before but imagine that it doesn't go over well. It shouldn't matter though, I'm not their problem anymore. This is so stupid. I'm not answering, I shouldn't have even called in the first place. The phone finally stops ringing and I just stare at the 'missed call' flashing on the screen. Will they leave a message? Did I just anger them? Oh, I hope they don't call CPS. Actually, that would be pretty funny to hear Stef cuss them out while Lena reprimands her language choice. You know what, I deserve this for falling in love with the first family that came along and cared. At least Jude got a forever family, he deserves them.

My thoughts are broken off by the phone vibrating again. Shit. Well, I guess if I keep forgetting to turn it off I should at least answer. I hit 'accept' and raise the phone to my ear not saying anything. Just the sounds of the house I can hear from the other side is enough to make me feel safe again. I hate myself for that. For being so connected, for needing to be loved, for not resisting them.

"Hello? Callie, are you there?" I hear Stef ask. Either she calmed down enough to talk to me or I made Lena cry, both are valid speculations.

"Yeah." I respond, keeping my voice low.

"You know how we feel about you hanging up on us and ignoring our calls." Stef states.

"I know. I'm sorry." I really do feel bad about that.

"Love, we really need to know where you are."

"No. I can't go back there." I whisper harshly.

"If Liam was there then they can't bring you back, the court case and restraining order are in your file. I don't know how they let this happen but you aren't going to go back to that house." She tries to explain, but that's not what I'm talking about.

"No, not there. Jail. I ran away, they'll send me back. I can't go back." I try to make her understand, I know I sound desperate but I won't survive this time.

"You won't, I'll do everything in my power to make sure that you don't go back there. None of this was your fault and I won't let you be punished for it." She sounds sure of this, but I'm more weary.

"You can't save me from everything Stef." I respond coldly. I know she feels bad about this whole thing but I'm hurt and not going to let her think she can fix things that she can't.

"I know love, but you can't blame me for wanting to." Stef replies. "And I will fix this. I am so sorry any of this happened. But, we need to get you home to figure this all out, okay? I can't stand one of my children being out in the middle of nowhere tonight though. So, please, let me come get you baby, no one has to know you're here." She pleads.

"You can't." doesn't she get it?

"Why not?" I hear the confusion and frustration in her voice.

"First, once they tell someone I'm not there the first place they'll look is your house. Second, you're a cop, you can loose your job." I state the first objections that come to mind, although I'm not willing to admit I want to go back.

"We'll figure something out if they come looking for you. There's the tree house in the back or the attic." She starts to defend her theory that it will work.

"There's an attic?" Wait, I would know if there was an attic.

"Exactly. As far as my job, you let me worry about that." She said. "Now where are you?"

I give her directions to where I'll meet her, it's a kids park a bit away. Close enough that I should be able to get there without being caught but far enough to not give away where I am now. I need to keep this spot secret just incase I need it again. On the other side of the phone I hear her grabbing keys, saying bye to Lena and starting the car. The line goes dead as I finish telling directions how to get to the park. I really hope she doesn't think I hung up on her again. I take another few swigs from the bottle and hide it in the wall. Making my was slowly from my hiding spot I curse phone batteries and throw the device further down the path, if the teens come looking they should be able to find it. I didn't realize how cold and dark it became out. I make my way towards where I told Stef to meet me.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N- Sorry it took so long to update, life distracts me. Please just give me a nudge if i forget. This chapter isn't too long or exciting but needed to get to the next part, things will be adventurous again soon. If you get the chance let me know what you think. Thank for reading. enjoy.****  
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**As always- i don't own The Fosters all i own is this peppermint mocha.**

It's funny how sounds seem more intense at night. The crunch of leaves under foot is now not your own but someone following you. That squirrel running up a tree is now a serial killer taunting you. The light breeze is now someone breathing down your neck. The moon's mild glow is now a spotlight giving away your location to the world. The cars driving past are now all Liam's Jeep. When one can't see the mind starts playing some messed up games and my mind knows the possible realities. Nightmares don't stop existing because you decide to stop believing in them. I'm not afraid of the dark but I sure as hell am afraid of what I know lies within, my demons are looking for me and I can't seem to run fast enough.

Pausing to make sure there are no cars passing I cross a street, ready to run like hell. My heart is pounding so much I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack. It's taking me a lot longer to get to the play park than it normally would as I keep stopping to try to calm down. Passing out right now is not in my best interest, deep breath. I keep reminding myself I will survive, failing is not an option. The thing is just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there's not someone coming after you. I know I have two people out looking for me right now and I only want to be found by one of them.

Finally, I see those little lights in the empty car park like a mirage appearing slowly over the horizon. As I approach the area I find somewhere to hide, just in case. I'm unaware of the actual time it took me to get here, I hope Stef didn't get up and leave. There are headlights pulling into the car park and I push myself further into the brush that's hiding me. I hate that it's dark enough I can't tell what car it is. Please, oh please, do not let it be Liam. I don't know how he would know where I am but I will not put anything past him. I see the car driving slowly in a circle then leave. Phew, it was just someone turning around. Must be lost. Funny thing being lost, not everyone can turn around.

Just as I was ready to catch my breath another car enters the fenced area. Thank any deities that may exist it's Stef. I think. If not it's someone driving in the same style car. Liam wouldn't buy a car to trick me, would he? Oh G_d what if he attacked Stef and stole her car?! She could be hurt really bad somewhere because of me. I'm getting her hurt and, by default, the rest of the family. Jude. Oh my goodness. I knew I shouldn't have called. I'm going to get everyone killed.

The spinning thoughts are cut off when I see the car stop. The headlights are turned down to the parking ones as the car is left running. Someone is getting out. Stef. I keep myself from darting towards her to make sure she wasn't followed. "Sweets?" She says as she starts wandering the perimeter. "Honey?" I finally give in and run from my hiding spot and latch myself to her before either of us really know what's going on. I take a deep breath in, she smells of home. She releases a deep sigh as she returns my desperate embrace.

"Callie, are you okay?" Ha, of course I'm not okay. I have not been okay for so long, but I know that's not what she meant so I just nod my head resting against her and tighten my arms wrapped around her waist. Her embrace adjusts in return as she leaves kisses on my temple. "I'm sorry love, I'm so so sorry." She whispers, I open my mouth to speak but words are caught. I want to tell her that it's okay, that it's not her fault. However, I can't. I still blame her, I feel guilty about it but part of me thinks that if she just renewed that license that none of this would be happening. Life never works out for me, planning ahead is key and I blame myself for not anticipating all the bad. I'm not one of the lucky ones, I should have seen this coming, now I'm bringing everyone down with me.

"Please, say something, anything." Stef pleads. It's only then I realize I haven't spoken. Maybe it's not me trusting myself to speak but her to listen. What's to keep me from getting taken, maybe she's just going to turn me in. That could have been her plan all along. Get Jude, leave me. Wait, if I can't trust her why did I call her to save me. I need to go. I push out of her grasp and look around ready to run, her arms envelope me again, this time holding tight.

"No!" I hiss, struggling in her grasp. Frustrated tears escape, tracking down my cheeks.

"You don't get to do this." Stef responds firmly. "You don't get to run. I know you're scared and I know you're mad. I get that. I'm mad at me too. It's okay to be feeling whatever you are feeling but you don't get to run. We are a family and we will handle this like a family. So, I need you to take a deep breathe right now and try to calm down so we can go home and figure out a plan. Together."

My struggling calms down slightly as my head gets dizzier, although I don't want to listen to her right now I do need to breathe. I'm focusing on that while weighing the options to get the least amount of people hurt. I want them to be my family but they are not. That was proven by me getting taken away. I want them all safe, especially Jude. Although I am desperate for some semblance of comfort I know what needs to be done. I need to go back to Helen's, I need to give myself for the greater good. At least this time i would know what's coming. I can't let the moms get in trouble, they could go to jail. Everyone could loose everything because I'm scared.

I try to be calm as Stef lets me back slowly from her arms. Looking in her eyes I see she's ready to catch me if I try to run. But I at least have to try. The thought is fleeting as I hear a branch crack under the pressure of something that I'm hoping is a dog. With my luck it definitely won't be. Startled back into reality I take hold of Stef's wrist and start dragging her to the vehicle. "We have to get out of here, now."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N- It's been a bit since updating this one but I'm back. If you haven't had the chance to read the sister story "seek and hide" it's from the moms point of view and you get to see things that are missing here. Thanks for reading, i appreciate you, and if you get a chance to leave a review it's appreciated. Now, back to the story, it's going to get sticky. running from scary noises, yes?**

**As always- I do not own The Fosters, all i own is mug of coffee (mmmm coffee)**

I grabbed her wrist and started dragging her towards the car. "We have to get out of here now." I think she heard the same noise as I did as her pace quickens. We jump into the car and before I even get my seat belt attached she is pulling out of the car park. I glance in the side mirror and see that something is still moving in the woods. I can't quite make out what it is but i hope it didn't get a good look at us.

"What was that?" She asks. I don't think she meant to say it out loud but I answer anyway.

"I'm not sure but I wasn't sticking around to find out." I release a little snicker. We may be running but just being around her again is making me feel safe. She is heading home, I'll be able to hide and everything will be okay. Right? Then I remember I am not one of the lucky ones like them. Things don't work out for me.

We start heading home as two cop cars with lights and sirens on pass us, they're probably headed to the house. I look over but as Stef turns to me I look out the window before eye contract can be made.

"Sorry" I state. A simple apology for all the many things that I have done.

"Do not." Stef states. "Do not apologize. None of this situation is your fault, I should be apologizing that we did not renew the fostering license. But we can not change the past so let's focus on how we can fix this. We're going to head home and set you up in the attic, no one will know you're there except Mama and me. Then we'll get everything straightened out with the court and 'find' you and bring you home where you belong." It sound so simple when she says it that I badly want to believe it.

Her police radio goes off in the car, stating they are looking for a teenage runaway. Then they describe me in detail, finishing that 'she responds to Callie'. I laugh at that, it's like I'm a lost dog. More so I laugh because I'm not responding to anyone right now. Especially some strangers hunting me down. No thank you. Stef gets a scared look on her face and turns onto a side road that's usually low traffic. She turns the lights off but keeps the engine on. Stef looks at me with concern, and I know my eyes have to be on fire with fear. What if I run? Then she doesn't have to worry, I let myself be found by the cops and keep them out of it. Or I can run and hide again, this hap to blow over eventually, right? She clicks the lock button on the door to emphasizing she knows what I'm thinking and I better stay put. Well, there goes that plan. I am lost trying to think of what I can do now that they're looking for me when Stef takes hold of my hand pulling me from my thoughts.

"Sweets, if they put an APB out on you that means they're probably headed to the house too. We might have to find somewhere you can hang low for a day or two until we can sneak you to the attic. I'm not going to let anything happen to you but we need a plan B. Okay?" She asks with a deep concern lacing her voice. I know she's trying to hide how worried she is but she isn't doing a good job at it. Well, it's not like I have a choice, but she doesn't leave time for me to answer the rhetorical question when continuing her speech.

"We can try the school, Mama showed me some secret rooms not many people know about once. Then you'll have cover. Hmm. They might check there though. I don't think Mike is a good person to get involved." She's thinking through options out loud. On one hand I want to tell her to not worry and just turn me in, on the other I want her to save me. Some time in jail is a small penance for all the things I did wrong, for all the bad things I put this good family through. However, I am not sure I would survive this time, they'll probably lock me up and throw away the key.

She's looking at me intently and it is then I realize she must have asked me something as I was zoned out. "Uh, can you repeat that?" I stumble as I feel a blush run up my cheeks. She smirks.

"Where were you lost in?"

"What?" I ask confused.

"Where were you in? You were clearly not in the present. So where were you?"

"Uhm. Nowhere." I mumble dropping my gaze.

"Really?" She asks sarcastically. "We're going back to that?" I can't help but the smirk and scoff that pass my lips.

"Maybe."

"mmhmm" She raises her eyebrows. "You want to try again and tell me what you were thinking?" I sigh. I leave my gaze turned downwards as I respond honestly.

"I'm not worth the hassle. You should just turn me in. Running was stupid. I'm sorry I dragged you into this, you don't deserve my mess. Just say you found me and are turning me in, I'll go back to jail and you won't have to worry about me anymore." I stop and watch my silent tears as they stain my jeans. I can feel the silence piercing my soul but refuse to raise my gaze to see Stefs face.

"Love." She says softly yet she can't stop her voice from cracking. "Please." She squeezes my hand. "Look at me. Please." Before I realize it I raise my eyes to see the tear that has displaced itself from her eye, the single track revealing a depth beyond itself.

"My baby. I will never just give up and turn you in. And never, I repeat never, try to tell me or believe yourself that you are not worth the 'hassle' as you put it. You are worth everything. You are worth more than I can ever prove. You didn't drag me into anything, I jumped head first. When it comes to you or any of my children I will always willingly be involved, whether you want me to be or not." She says with a wink. I have seen her get involved in things my siblings tried to convince her to stay out of. It is so embarrassing yet endearing that she does it anyway.

"I may not have had you from the beginning but that doesn't make you any less my daughter. You will not go to jail over this, the whole situation is my fault not yours. I will not turn you in, we are going to find somewhere safe to hide you until I can figure out how to fix this. Most importantly if there is only one thing you remember let it be this. I will never stop worrying about you, you will always be my daughter and I will always love you."

I get lost in the swirling emotions of her eyes, mostly I just see the love. We both are openly crying and I launch myself over the center console and hold her in a grasp that can't be comfortable for either of us, yet is is exactly what we need. I refuse to let go. Her arms are wrapped just as tight around me. I could stay holding onto her forever. That's the one thing I missed most about losing my mother. The hugs, they aren't the same from Jude. His small arms tried, wrapping around me in desperation, but the goal was always to comfort him. Right now, I remember how it was to hug my mother again, being able to let someone comfort me, and I let her. I stopped caring that there are people out hunting for me or that I could go back to jail I let myself forget all the bad things that brought me to this moment because right now everything was okay. In Stef's arms nothing else matters and I believe every word she said to me. I don't know how long we are there in the embrace but I get pulled from my reverie as Stef's phone rings. We hesitantly release each other as she reads the caller ID and I eye the door handle.


End file.
